A friend just told me about the courtship of his Thai friends. They were married about 15 years ago, and while thier romance isn't typical for everyone in Thailand, it's sounds spot on for most people who are over 30 and married.
It started with the two of them sitting across the outside table from each other and talking every evening. When it got dark they lit a candle, as there was no electrcity in their town then. They would politely ask things like "How was your day?" "What did you do?"The whole time her mom would be resting in a hammock nearby. Always a chaperone! After a while they eventually got to handholding. And then came the wedding.
My coteacher once read that the average westerner kisses about 70 people before getting married and she asked me if this was true. I asked her how many people Thais kiss before they kiss the person they'll marry. Her response: none. Most Thais marry the first person they kiss.
Times are certainly changing now, partially due to western influences. My friends middleschool 'little brother' from his Thai family was caught kissing a girl. Big trouble for him!!!
The Thais view of romance and sexuality is so so different from Americans, I can't fit it all in one blog, but I will leave you with another story.
The same man above who courted his wife over a candle met a PC volunteer (a friend of the one that lives in his town) at a party and told my friend he really liked her. This married Thai man started texting this fellow volunteer in a modern day courtship. He did not try to hide the fact he was romantically interested in her, and even got the American in his town to help write to her.
Infidelity is pretty rampid in Thailand now. It is widely accepted and even a sign of machism. Visiting prostitutes is one piece of this. As well is polygamy.
1 comment:
Is prostitution and marital infidelity a response to a lack premarital sexual or relationship experience?
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